Weird day.

So today I felt weird when I woke up... like I didn't feel like my stomach was pulling me towards the ground and I had energy. I don't know, everything is okay... the baby is still kicking away but my belly is higher again.  You can see it in the mirror when I turn; the baby is definately back up.  Kind of sad but good because it's not as uncomfortable as it was.  I guess today I just feel fat rather than pregnant, its hard to explain.

You know why it happened? Because yesterday I packed my hospital bag so of course things would take a jump back immediately after.  It was wierd packing a bag.  My stuff, baby clothes, just weird to think that I'll actually need it in about a month.  In the meantime, everythign else is just about ready.  We have diapers and wipes and the swing came in a couple days ago so now we're just working on paying off the swing... only a couple more dollars to go! We woudl have it paid off but we opted for something that had some more use for us instead; we bought a chest freezer!  We eat a lot of frozen stuff, mostly because we work such opposite schedules.  Hot pockets make a quick lunch while I'm at work for him, and I'm obsessed with Digiorno pizza so when they are on sale it kills me that we have such a small freezer.  Target ( I know, I'm obsessed!!) had a 3.5 cubic foot freezer on sale for the same price as the 1.6 cubic foot one! Unfortuentely its a little big for the kitchen so its right inside the living room but with the extra space I can stock up on chicken breasts, hot pockets, digornio pizzas, veggies and ground beef (which are ALL on sale this week at Stop and Shop!) and it's less that I will worry about after the baby comes. 

Speaking of which, I made one of the hardest phone calls I have ever made today.  I am a very proud person.  My mom raised me to take care of myself.  "There is always a way", that's what I always believed.  That being said, I called New Bedford's "Transitional Services" department... and yes, it's just a nice way to say Welfare.  I want to believe in my heart of hearts that we have enough saved up and we'll be fine but I want to know for sure.  I creid on the phone to this woman because I was so embarrassed that I needed to look at the avenue but I need to be sure that I can provide for the baby.  God forbid something happen and we need to give our savings to someplace else, assistance will make eevrythign a  lot easier.  I'm not looking for daycare and cash and food stamps and all that but if WIC won't accept us until I give birth and am actually out of work, I need to look at other options. I don't wnat to keep any help after I get my feet back into work but I may need that help while I am on leave. It's hard to admit out loud but I guess this is what being a parent is... not caring so much about how you look or feel but focusing on the good of the baby instead.