Saying Goodbye to Pup

This has been a ridiculously hard week for us.

We had to say goodbye to our puppy.

We adopted her when she was only 7 weeks old after she had been rescued from a kill shelter in Tennessee.

She was the most perfect little ball of fluff, never barked in the house, was great with the baby, and always tried to stay close to her.

Even as Emma got older, Bailey was perfect with her, never even showing her teeth if her ears or tail got pulled.

They were always playing together. 

Emmalee constantly referred to Bailey as her puppy, saying things like "I love you my puppy".

And still, they were always together.

Bailey's loss was hard for Emmalee to understand because she's not quite old enough to grasp death yet. 

Bailey deteriorated quickly.  

She went from not eating on Thursday to being put down in only a matter of a week. 

We brought her to the ER when David realized that Bailey hadn't eaten her food in two days.  The doctor noticed she had jaundice which was barely noticeable in her eyes. 

At the follow up on Monday, her jaundice was worse and the vet informed us that her liver was most likely shutting down but gave us some antibiotics that may be able to help her. 

Tuesday she was very lethargic, never leaving the couch except to use the bathroom.  

At bedtime, she tired repeatedly to jump up on to our bed but couldn't and that's when I knew it was time to say goodbye. 

Thankfully Dave had an early night and was home shortly after.

He brought her outside and after going to the bathroom, she collapsed. He had to carry her into our room.

We had another vet visit scheduled for Wednesday morning so we made the decision that we would have to say good bye to her in the morning.

Her appointment was scheduled at 10 am.

When we woke up at 5:45, she had gone into her crate during the middle of the night and was almost unresponsive. She was unable to move her own body. I went to work, intent on leaving sub plans and getting back home to go to the vet.

As we hugged her, and snuggled her, and kissed her, with tears streaming down our faces, she was barely responsive.

When Emma leaned down to kiss Bailey, the dogs eyes fluttered open, she stuck her tongue out, attempted to kiss Emma back and it was the most responsive she was all day. 

David held Bailey in the car and we were off.

Driving to the vet was scary, watching Bailey go in an out of consciousness, not sure if we were even going to get to the vet before she passed. WE were the first at the vet's office and within minutes the vet was there informing us that the toxins from her liver (which had caused the jaundice) were attacking her brain and we had made the right decision to keep her from anymore pain.

Emma and I said our good byes and went to the car while David held Bailey until her final breath.

I haven't cried that much in a really long time. 

And when Dave came out to the car, we composed ourselves enough to be able to drive.  We told Emmalee that Bailey was staying with the other doggies but when we pulled out of the parking lot, she screamed "Mommy, you forget my puppy! Go get my puppy, Mommy!", and I lost it all over.

It's been hard coming home and not having her run to the door to greet us.

It's been hard looking at her crate still sitting in the bedroom.

It's been hard when Emma is curled against me and barely whispers "I miss my puppy, Mommy".

It's just been hard.

She was literally the best pet I've ever had.