Let's get serious.

Couple things.

One: I need to get serious about keeping Emmalee in her own room. I've been so exhausted lately that if/when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she usually spends the remainder of the night in our bed. After 2 nights of sleeping through the night, after the past month of not, we figured we would push for her own room again. She still fights the crib but we've reached a happy medium where she'll sleep in her bed in her room.  We had one little hiccup last night but she didn't even nurse, just took her bink and went back to bed.  Our hope is that we'll start the new year with her in her crib but I guess we'll see...

Two: I need to lose weight. I am actually unhappy. Like more unhappy than ever. I've always been on the larger side, well after I got boobs in middle school, but I've always felt very proportionate and it really didn't bother me.  I didn't like that I couldn't pull off some clothes/outfits but I knew how to dress my body and felt good when I went out 99% of the time.

I currently live in my sweatpants/yoga pants and tank tops with either a cardigan or sweatshirt over it.  I'm just unhappy and uncomfortable in my own body now.  My stomach pouch is terrible and I hate getting dressed. So  I will lose weight.  And no, I don't own a scale. Because I don't want to.  Its not about the number to me, its about being able to put on a pair of jeans and not have an anxiety attack because every shift I own highlights my bulging stomach. The last time I saw a scale was my 6 week postpartum appointment and I was back to my prepregnancy weight.  I was happy because I thought that would be a challenge but I've learned that the challenge is to get everything back where it was.

So here's my plan.
I will NOT be weighing myself.
I will be snagging my old elliptical from my moms house (and putting it in the corner of our room where Emmalee's bed USED to be!!)
I will be using the Zumba XBOX game David bought for me.
I will make smarter decisions when I am at the grocery store.

Maybe... just maybe, by the time Emmalee turns 1, I'll be a bit more confident and comfortable in a cute little summer dress. :)

And finally: I don't know if I want to put up Christmas decorations. Its not that I'm a Grinch, its just that I know whatever I put up, I have to take down. My exhaustion level is so ridiculous lately that I don't even want to think about adding something else to my list. Emmalee is too young to realize if they go up and its not like we'll be doing Christmas here...

That's it. I promise the next post will be more fun.