Mushy.

This is going to be one of those mushy posts that makes everyone go "eww" and think I'm full of shit.

I love my husband. I do. So so so much. 

I often joke around when people ask me if David is excited for the baby and I say "I think he's more excited than I am".  He is going to be an amazing father and I cant wait to see him hold our little one for the first time; I'm actually getting teary eyed just thinking about it.

I know I talk a lot about the baby and whats going on with me but he's really my main support right now.  I came home from work, an hour later than I should have, irritated, tired and stressed about the fact that we're going on vacation for a couple nights.  We, (read: I) need this time away but I cant help but feel guilty that the money we are going to spend and the days of work we are going to miss could be used better.  Even though we don't have to pay for our accomodations, we are going to board the dogs, pay for gas, pay for food, etc... I know we deserve this time away and it will be our last bit of "us time" before the baby comes by it's weighing on my mind...

Factor in waking up every 3 hours to pee and spending so much time working that when I come home, all I do is sleep and I feel like a waste of oxygen around this house some days.  I have lists of things to do: laundry, dishes, grocery shopping and then I get home from a 9-4 shift and fall asleep for 2 hours or I have to go to class and after I'm out for the night.  I really feel useless some days.

This is the mushy part...

I love my husband.  I came home from work yesterday (and fell asleep) but the laundry was already done and he had deep cleaned the bedroom carpets.  Today I came home from work and the dishes were done. I know this sounds silly and miniscule, two small household chores, but that's what I need.  I love knowing that he is there and is so helpful and never once makes me feel guilty about the sleep I need and the laziness I have been feeling lately.  When I apologize for not doing something or for being down on myself for my looks, my stomach, my mood, etc and all he says is "It's fine honey" and kisses my forehead, I know that I'm the luckiest woman in the world.  I love him so much; I often forget that we've only been together for 2 years and I can't imagine being with anyone else ever in my life or anyone else being the father of my children.

Plain and simple: I love him. <3