Day 15 — A person you admire

Original Draft: 8:02 am.

Maya Angelou.
My mom.
My gradmother.
Tony Esposito.
Jennifer Smith.
Thats five to start.
There are a lot of people I admire and everyone has a different level of admiration from me. I am going to go more into depth with two women who I admire a bit more.

Heather Hedding.

The hardest thing I ever did was leave college.  I was really the first one to go straight to college after high school from my family and the otehr grandkids my age seemed to have no desire to go. College was always the plan for me. High school, college, become a teacher. But I couldn't just go to college, I had to go and be the absolute best. No one else ever put that stress on me but when you grow up getting all A's, it's what is expected, so imagine my shock and horror when I realized I needed to leave school.  I was unhappy and needed to get out. I felt like I had disappointed my entire family and that I had let myself down.

I met Heather through my mom. Heather's mom Lisa works with my mom and their friendship led to dinners at Unos which led to a very awkward conversation about being Heather's mom and so not to seem like lesbians who had a daughter named Heather, I became Heather and she became "Other Heather". 
The first time I really got to "hang out" with her was at my graduation party from Bridgewater.  I laughed so hard the whole time. She is an aamzing young woman who has a vivacity for life that I wish I had.  She is just a very happy person who makes other people happy.
Fast forward a few months and she's at my house for Halloween. I found out that she struggled with college the same way I did. I didnt know what I was doing there and why I was spending the time and money to be there. I loved my friends but it didnt feel "right" anymore. She also had to face her parents and be strong enough to stand up for herself.
I admire her for that.
I also admire her for her relationship with her younger brother, Kevin. One day I'm going to marry Kevin, or so he says.  I always want to say he's four (even though he's not-- it's just what I think of him as) and is autistic and I have never seen a sister so involved with her brother.  She may be the best big sister ever, and coming from me, that's a big deal. :P
She will do great things one day. She reminds me a lot of myself, second guessing and questioning everything but she lives life with such a passion and happiness that I didnt have that I cant imagine a million doors NOT opening for her in her future. She will change the world, even if it's only her brothers, and I admire her for that.

Angelina Fuller

I may be biased here because she is one of my best friends, but maybe thats why I she is one of my best friends, because I admire who she is as a person.
The girl has been dealt some pretty bad hands, has been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and taken much more crap than she shold have ever had to. No matter what, she's strong and powers through.
She is going through a lot right now, and because emotions can sometimes run high and I do not have much protection on the blog (meaning anyone can read it) I dont want to complicate events even farther. I'll simply leave it at the fact that I love, envy, and admire her strength.
She said to me one day that she was afraid she spent so much time being positive for everyone else that she forgot to say some positive for herself. I nearly cried for her right then.
I've watched her grow and mature in the five years that I've known her and she continues to aspire me with her dedication to her friends and her schoolwork regardless of what obstacles are thrown at her.



Updated as of 3:40 pm.

My blah mood this morning kind of put me in a gross spot.  I was quetsioning whether or not I should post on the blog because really, who gives a shit? Its just my thoghts and emotions and while I'm sure no on really cares that I'm in crisis over what classes to take, it makes me feel better to be writing and getting all of my thoughts out of my head. So I left the blog unpublished.  Its hard to write about who you admire and how much they have their life togetehr when you feel like your grabbing at scraps.
However, at 2:30 I went to wal-mart to go buy some file folders and a file box so I could organize bills, taxes, car information, etc so nothing gets lost in the move and I recieved a message on Facebook from someone telling me how amazed they were by me that I could post my thoughts and feelings online and not be concerned that people would judge me for them.  They said I gave them someone to admire and look up to because they hoped to have the same confidence themselves one day.

I am glad I am posting this article, even if it was originally written 8 hours ago because it always makes me laugh that someone can admire me while I sit in admiration of them.

But my ahdn hurts because I have typed WAY too much today so enjoy aand we'll see what tomorrow brings.