June Blind Bags!

 This month, we got our hands on a few more surprise toys: Squishy Pops and Mash Ems!
The kids love these surprises so much!

Tyler's favorite thing is throwing the brain up on our ceiling and laughing as it hangs there!

I can't wait to see what we get to open next month!

xo Heather

The Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk : New York City 2016

I can't even put this experience into words eloquently, but I need at least try. Participating in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk through New York City was singlehandedly one of the most amazing and awe-inspiring things I have ever done.

Like I said before, the Overnight Walk is hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the money raised from these walks goes to programs that help educate the public about depression, suicide, and how to help.  There are two walks hosted each year, each walk between 16 and 18 miles long. This year, one was hosted in New York and I didn't hesitate to register.

I had 6 months to raise over $1000 and I did it! That was a huge scary goal for me.  I was petrified that I wouldn't be able to raise it and I'd have to somehow pay for it all myself, but I have an amazing tribe and was blown away but the generosity of people.

The day started early, with my puppy barking at a squirrel at 5 am.  Yep, earlier than my normal day and with a drive to NYC and the overnight, I was already concerned about the lack of sleep.  I was so nervous that I didn't sleep well.

My husband's aunt was extraordinarily generous and invited us to stay at her house while I was walking, which saved us a few hundred dollars on a hotel room and allowed David to be with me in NYC for a while.

The walk began at the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. There were lots of tables set up and as I checked in they gave us a pin, an orange flashing armband, a wristband with an assitance phone number, and let us pick up our bead necklaces.  Each color represented a type of struggle: a loss of a loved one, for a loved one who is struggling, for a personal struggle, or simply to support the cause, for example. I got in a final charge on my phone and made some new acquaintances while we waited for the kick off ceremony.

 Dave stayed with me for the entire kick off ceremony and the stories were so moving. Hearing stories of what others have gone through really puts your own life and problems into perspective.  Many of the people being honored were on their 4th, 5th, even 12th walk.

I started off the walk next to another woman and we just started talking.  The usual "Where are you from? Is this your first walk? Why are you walking?" and then it started to downpour, like buckets and downpours. There was nothing a poncho or a raincoat could have done, I was soaked.

The first rest stop was around 3 miles so I pulled off my soaking wet socks and replaced them with dry ones and started off again.  At just over 6 miles, I hit the next rest stop and was still feeling good.  I was dry and was excited to keep going!

At mile 8 I was ready to give up. I don't know if you know, but I hate bridges. Hate, hate, hate. With all the firey burning passion I have, I hate bridges.  I white knuckle my steering wheel when I have to drive over them. Mile 8 started at the Brooklyn Bridge, which meant I had to walk 1.1 miles over the bridge, a couple miles around Brooklyn and then another 1.1 miles back over. 

This is when I really started to feel my feet hurting.  I don't know if I was just so hyper aware of walking, and being afraid... all I know is I cried the whole way over that bridge. Panic induced tears the whole way.  Multiple times I thought about just giving up, turning back around and skipping those Brooklyn miles, but I couldn't. I'm not honorable by any means, I just knew there was a reststop with bathrooms less than a mile away and if I turned around I had another 3 miles to go before a bathroom break.  By then it was 11 am night and all businesses, except bars, and the public restrooms were closed so I just kept trudging.

The roads were bumpy, my feet hurt, and I felt like I was going to fall over because the pressure on my feet was just so intense.  I was having a hard time looking up at the street signs and instead started watching my feet as I walked. Remember how I said they gave us orange blinking armbands? I could see one out of the corner of my eye so I followed that as I watched my feet. Bad idea.  As I'm following, and not paying attention to the arrows on street signs, I see the orange blinking light walk into an apartment.  I realize that I haven't seen any signs in a bit and called the assistance phone number on my wristband.  I had walked over a mile off the route and had to walk the mile back, adding more than 2 miles on to my already 9 mile walk.  Again, I cried, wondering how I would finish .

Getting back over the bridge was nearly impossible.  I sat at the rest stop crying, knowing I had to go back.  I changed my socks again but by now, I had blisters between all of my toes, on the sides of my little toe and on the pads of me feet.  Each step felt like I was walking on a piece of sandpaper. I seriously thought about giving up again but kept pushing.

I found 3 other girls who hated bridges as much as I do and we walked across the bridge, again all crying, but walking. At this point, my battery was more than half dead and I stopped taking pictures so I could save it for finish line pictures. After many tears and so many complaints about our feet, we finally made it to the next rest stop close to mile 14.  I told them to continue while I finally sat down at a medical tent at a rest stop. I took a couple ibuprofen, grabbed a fruit roll up, and wrapped my entire foot in so much moleskin.  I really wish I had gone to a medical tent earlier but I was happy for the bit of relief this offered me.  The ladies at the medical tent just kept saying "Only 2.6 more miles to go!" and it energized me just enough to keep going.

My feet had never been in more pain.  The only other time I did that many miles at once was at Disney last June, but that was over 16 hours, not 6. As I was thinking about how bad my feet hurt and how much I wanted to quit, when I heard a small voice say "I can't do this anymore. I have to be done." I am so thankful that girl was there.  My mom/teacher instincts kicked in and all I wanted to do was support her. I said something along the lines of "It's less than 2 more miles... 10 blocks up and 5 aves across..."  Immediately, I had another group to walk with.  We exchanged the "Where are you from? First walk? Why do you walk?" and suddenly I wasn't focused on my feet anymore.  I was focused on the brother's first year at college to be a teacher.  I was focused on the girl asking me what my favorite English books are.  I was focused on telling stories of my own classroom.  Those kids, and my students, helped me finish.  They helped me forget about how tired I was because I was genuinely enthralled with our conversations.  We counted down each block, announcing out loud to anyone around how close we were.

Walking from 11th Ave to 12th Ave and seeing the Intrepid Museum was so exciting, I literally cannot put it into words.  I have never been so excited to see anything, probably ever.

At the end of the walk, after you cross the finish line, they have you walk back to where the opening ceremony took place and give you a finishing tshirt, some food, and places to sit and relax. The walkway to this area was lined with these luminaries that each participant decorated, reminding us that there is always light shining. Walking over the finish line was one of the most gratifying feelings.  Knowing I had completed it, knowing that I had raised almost $1300, knowing that I gave someone hope. I can't put that into words. 

There were a couple of volunteers at the finish line and I received a very tired sounding "yey" as I did so.  I took 6.5 hours to walk it and I knew many others would take longer, some even being picked up by the sweep van, gathering those who couldn't finish in the allotted time.  I started thinking about how sad and disappointed I would have felt to not finish. I thought about how much it would suck to still be walking, so I went back to the finish line and sat down.  I took off my shoes, stretched and sat there cheering for every single person who walked by.  Have you ever heard me cheer? I'm loud and obnoxious. Whoooooo!!! and "You did it!" echoed across the place.  I joked with people stopping to take a selfie saying "You're so close, keep going!" and just hoping to get them to smile.  As I continued cheering, the volunteers got louder, and then more people joined.  I became an unofficial finish line photographer for people. I loudly cheered for crew and safety as they passed under the finish line banner.  My slogan became "Everyone deserves a Woooo!" and I stayed there for  more than 2 hours, until 4:45 when the last walkers came across and they started the closing ceremony.  I didn't want anyone to miss out on feeling accomplished, regardless of how they got to the finish line. 

After the ceremony, I booked it to Grand Central to hop on my train and get back to my husband.  My feet hurt, I was exhausted, and I felt so good.  Next year the walks will be in California and DC, and I'm already planning how to pull off the DC one.  I think I might want to volunteer and cheer all night long...

Wtf. #overnightwalk

A photo posted by Heather (@heathgiff) on Jun 5, 2016 at 2:48am PDT

xoxo,

heather

Tyler turns 2 and Emmalee turns 5!

I can't believe that I have a 2 and a 5 year old.  Even though Tyler turned 2 last month, they shared a birthday party so they'll be sharing a blog post too!

I can't even deal with the fact that my baby is two and as our last baby, it's hitting me that much more than when Emmalee turned two.
Tyler weighed in at 26 lbs and 34 inches, so he's not a little guy anymore by any stretch of the imagination! He is wearing 2T pants and shirts for the length, but his waist is more of an 18 month, so pants are always a bit baggy, but shorts in an 18M fit great! We just had to buy him new sneakers in a 7.5 because the 7s we bought last month are already too small!
He eats everything.  Tyler loves food, and all of it.  There aren't many things he won't eat.  He may cross his arms and shake his head no at certain times, but he always ends up eating again at another time. His favorite foods are freeze pops, popcorn, chicken nuggets, burgers, french fries, produce, like cucumbers, tomatoes, and carrots, and fruits like blueberries, strawberries, and pears.  As soon as I buy produce, it's gone in 24 hours, not that I'm complaining!
He sleeps in his own big boy bed but is such a mama's boy, always wanting to snuggle, giving me 8 kisses on my face, in symmetrical places, before we snuggle next to each other.  He falls asleep around 8 pm and sleeps straight through the night until about 6 or 6:30 am. When he wakes up, he walks into my room calling 'mama' and climbs into my bed next to me.  He is still taking a good 1 or 2 hour nap each afternoon as well!
His favorite things are tubbies, books, stealing my cell phone, anything Star Wars, including singing "BAHHHH BAHHHH" whenever he sees Darth Vader anything.  He loves balls, trucks, cars, puzzles, and bubbles.  He's already discovered his penis and that's a favorite as well.
We're still working on Tyler's speech through Early Intervention as his vocabulary is still extraordinarily limited.  He says 'pop' for popcorn, popsicles, bubbles, and when he jumps.  'Mama' is my favorite word, especially when he fluctuates his voice and I feel like the best person in the whole world.  He says 'hot' when he sees something steaming or when he knows it's hot, like a stove/oven or his dinner. He says "eeeeeeease" for please, and has said 'ball' and 'mine' once but not again since.  His newest word is "giggup" which sounds a lot like giddy up! He'll yell it as he rides the stick pony, or he will even throw his arms around your neck and yell it so I am convinced that's what it means.
It hurts my heart that he can't always tell us what he wants but he absolutely understands us and is working so hard on his language skills. I can't wait for us to be able to understand him completely.

Emmalee is a bit different. She's 5 now. She's like a little adult, even more than she was before. She is such a happy little ball of energy.  She invites friends to our house.  She picks out her own clothes and dresses herself.  She amazes me everyday with how mature she is, even if she dissolves into a overtired tantrum later in the day.

She's a measly 36 pounds and a staggering 42 inches tall. She thrives in preschool. She knows all the numbers and letters.  She writes and recognizes letters on signs. She still struggles with some of her letter sounds but is much more aware now after being involved with Tyler's Early Intervention.  We're lucky that she is still taking a daily nap, but is a raging beast without it.  She's an overly mothering big sister. Because she is such a grown up little girl now, I wanted to ask her some questions:

What's your name?
Emmalee

How old are you?
Five

What's your favorite thing to do?
Umm, play dollies and dress up with you

What do you like about school?
I like drawing pictures with my teacher.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Um, an ice skating teacher

What is your favorite food?
macaroni and cheese

What food do you not like?
I do not like... white fish.

Who do you like to spend time with?
Mommy and Daddy

What can you do really well?
somersaults (as she does one)

What makes you laugh?
when Mom tickles my little shoulders (arm pits)

What makes you mad?
When Tyler bites me.

Whats the best time of the day?
when we get to play outside together

What are your three favorite toys?
1. My new Minnie Mouse bike I got for Christmas
2. My barbie and unicorn dolls
3. And my last favorite toy is my Doc McStuffins pretending bag.

What are you afraid of?
I'm afraid of monsters

What is your favorite tv show?
Bubble Guppies and Strawberry Shortcake, Dora and Diego, and My Little Ponies

What is your favorite movie?
Rapunzel!

Who is your best friend?
Lily

What do you like to do with your family?
Play outside and make s'mores

What do you like to learn about?
I like to learn about unicorns.

What is your favorite book?
Um, Goldilocks and the Three Bears

If we could go on vacation anywhere, where should we go?
I think I know.. to Sesame Place!

If you had one wish what would it be?
I would wish for my own toy unicorn or to go to Disney again.

I just love her and her answers. I can't believe that this Fall, we'll have one in daycare and one in Kindergarten.  When did they get so big?